Way overdue

It's been so long, way to long. I am still working on my vacation post--there is so much to cover that it's been a bit time consuming. I promise, it is on it's way. If we are connected on facebook, feel free to check out the pictures. They are amazing--if I do say so myself.

Thanksgiving was wonderful! Eli ended up making it home. He was scheduled on reserve and as luck would have it, he didn't get called. So he flew home. Made it just in time for us to arrive together at his mom's. His mom hosted 16 people! Most were friends of the family. It was terrific. Growing up, my family would just spend it with the 4 of us. It was lovely but I do believe there is something wonderful about opening your home to others outside of your immediate family and sharing the spirit of Thanksgiving. Plus a whole lotta wine that is shared by EVERYONE, kicks up the fun notch as well.

The rest of the weekend was just as wonderful too. We mostly ate and drank ourselves silly. That is my kind of weekend! We opened up a 1000 piece beer puzzle that we some how aquired. It sucked us in on Saturday and Sunday and it is still not finished.

While the weekend was so good, it also was not so good. The Wednesday before Thanksgiving, I received a call from my mom about my grandpa (her dad). He ended up in the hospital with a tooth infection that had gone bad. So bad that it caused a blood infection. After numerous efforts to give him a fighting chance on Thursday and the remainder of the weekend, it looked like he was going to pull through. He was out of the ICU and in a private room. Eating food and breathing through an oxygen tube through his nose. I called my mom this morning to check in on when he would be discharged. The light-hearted call I had originally intended to have with my mom did not happen. My grandpa was back in the ICU and his kidney's were failing. Mom, her sisters and brother decided this afternoon that all life sustaining support would cease to continue. As far as I know now, they've pulled the feeding tube. My mom's younger sister is flying in tomorrow. I am not sure when the rest of it will be pulled. I am sure it will only be a matter of days or day.

As I am writing this, I feel a pinch of denial. Denial that this is really happening. It was year ago to this week that we were in a similar situation with my dad's dad. He passed away on December 7th. My dad and I've decided that we are starting a petition with the rest of the family members on not dying during the month of December. I really don't think that this is too much to ask for.

This is just way to hard to stomach--I am not sure that my heart has healed enough from last year to say goodbye again.

Give yourself a big hug from me, dear internet.

Beat

It is only Tuesday and this week is just beating me up. I feel like I need two long days to just sleep. I would go to bed now, but E is flying in and I am picking him up at the airport.

Good news around these parts, is that we FINALLY installed a dog door. OMG! This is truly the best invention EVER. Not only am I enjoying it, I know the massive fur ball called Poppy is enjoying her new found freedom to go inside and outside as she pleases. I am not sure why it took us so long to do us. Probably because Eli and I are the two biggest procrastinators on this planet.

Off to SFO...

Celebrating #2!

Happy Anniversary babe! I am beyond happy that you made it home to celebrate with me. Tonight, we reminisced about our wedding day and what a difference another year makes! We continue to grow as individuals and as a couple. I love you babe with all my heart. I loved that we danced to our wedding song. Just incase we get old and forget the words. I have it documented on my blog..



A Love That Will Last"

I want a little something more
Don't want the middle or the one before
I don't desire a complicated past
I want a love that will last

say that you love me
Say I'm the one
Don't kiss and hug me and then try to run
I don't do drama
My tears don't fall fast
I want a love that will last

[Chorus"]
I don't want a just a memory
give me forever
Don't even think about saying good-bye
'Cause I want just one love to be enough
And remain in my heart till I die

So call me romantic
Oh I guess that's so
There's something more that you oughta know
I'll never leave you
So don't even ask
I want a love that will last

Forever
I want a love that will last
I want a love that will last

[Chorus]

So there's just a little more that I need
I wanna share all the air that you breathe
I'm not the kinda girl to complicate the past
I want a love that will last

Forever
I want a love the love that last
Always
I just want a love that will last
Want a love that will last

my dog ate my homework...no make that my dinner and eli's lunches

yes dear internet..my 110lb dog ate 5 beer brats and two large chicken breasts. All of it raw. She even broke one of my everyday dishes in going after the chicken. Our first dish casualty since we've been married.

I swear we feed her. twice a day!

I have a feeling I am going to have one sick doggie on my hands.

Just another day

It's been pretty quiet around these parts. All I've been doing is battling my back issues. I finally got in to see a back doctor, had xrays done and finally got in for my first visit for physical therapy. Everyone seems to have a different point of view on what is wrong with my back. The only good thing is that it isn't something serious that would require surgery. Whew! So today at PT, I got a little massagy and a list of 6 excercises to do to help stretch and stregthen. I am cleared to do cardio as long as there is no pain. Which is good b/c I've taken a hiatus from working out and it is really starting to show. eek! I can't do yoga just yet. Which is a bummer but hopefuly in a month or so, I can pick that up again.

After a summer of sitting on reserve--E finally got a flight schedule this month. That has made a huge difference in how we manage our life now. Which is now done week to week. It makes things a little easier in terms of planning because now we know when he will be home and when he won't.

Other then my back, there is not a whole lot to report.

Have a good weekend!

33 not 83

I know I said in a previous post that I wasn't that excited for my birthday but I didn't realize I would be spending my birthday in bed. Grant it spending a birthday in bed isn't so bad unless you are laid up because your back decided to give out on you.
That is what happened to me.

It all started Monday morning, when I tried to get up from my chair at work to go get coffee with a co-worker. As soon as I stood up, something pulled and my lower back spasmed. Goodness it hurt so bad. I could barely walk or stand up again. Thankfully Eli was home so I called him to come get me. About 45 minutes later, he arrived and found me hugging the wall in my office. I was trying to head to the bathroom but every step I took, my back freaked out. It is funny to picture this in my head now, as I had my arms wrapped around his neck as he held me vertically to walk me out of my office, in the elevator and out the building, into his car.

I have never experienced pain like this before. I'd like to think I had a tiny peak into what contractions are like. I could just feel myself tighten up as my back shot pains down my left leg and up into my upper back. Breathing certainly helped albeit a tiny bit. 2 hours later in the doctor's office, I left with a prescription of muscle relaxers and advil. We got home and Eli put me straight to bed. The cutie that he is, he set me up in communication central. I had my cell phone, his laptop, ice cream bar, ice pack, magazines, and medicine. He had to leave to work sound at the jazz club he occassionly works at. The bummer part about this, is I was supposed to join him at the jazz club after work to start my birthday celebration.

The next morning, we were praying hard that he wouldn't get called into work. He was sitting reserve yesterday and should have left for Chicago yesterday morning. The state that I was in, there was no way he could leave me alone or alone with our 100lb+ dog. Thankfully he did not get called in. Once we woke up, Eli started in on giving me the best birthday celebration as possible. He made me breakfast in bed and even climbed in bed with me to eat. We opened up my bday cards and his 2nd of two gifts. I made him give me the first one early as I was desparate to have it. It was a franklin planner with the 7 habits of highly effective people planning tools. The 2nd gift was a new bike helmet. It is so cute! I hated my old one and could never get it to fit right. This one is perfect!

As the day wore on, it got hot and sunny out and I was bored. So E helped me into my bathing suit and got me all set up on a lounge chair. He went on his errands and brought back a costco pizza--which if have not tried one their pizza's, you definitely should! They are so good and so cheap!

Later that night, we settled on the couch, opened some wine and chilled. Our neighbor came over for a glass of wine. After she left, we both climbed into bed. I slepted good--thanks to the muscle relaxer and a couple of glasses of wine. Eli left this morning for his 4 day trip. I did manage to take a shower and dress all by myself. Tomorrow I am going to tackle my commute and head into the office.

Not exactly how I pictured my 33rd birthday but despite everything, it still was a good one. I had my hubby with me.

I guess I am Country

Would you ever guess that a former city girl now living on the west coast would get into country music? Nope, neither did I. In the last few months, I've stumbled upon a local country station that has the best morning show. EVER! They always managed to put a smile on my face and make me laugh until I am about in tears during my 15 drive to the BART station. In between their antics, I started listening to the music, which of course is all country music. I must be getting old because I love how all the songs are either about having fun in bayou, driving a pickup truck, family and going to church (mind you I am jewish and grew up in an interfaith marriage so I know a lot about church.)
While there are tears from laughing so hard, I find myself shedding a tear or two or three on how touching some of these country songs are. I find that it helps me "keep it real" with all yucky stuff going on right now. Listening to some of these songs helps bring me back to reality. Reality in how important family, the love I have for my husband, religon, the way life can be so simple and so fun. That is what life is all about. Eli will even listen to this station now, because if I drive his car, it is the station that I put on the radio. I don't know if appreciates the songs as much as I do. Now don't get me wrong, I will certainly shake my booty to all the hip hop, top 20, brittnay spears kind of music but when it comes to listening to a radio station my first choice has now become the local country station.

I will leave you with a snippet of my favorite part from my latest favorite song. It's by Brad Paisley. "Waiting On A Woman". I think the reason why I like this part so much is that it reminds me of my granddad who past away last December.So many times, he was waiting my grandmother to get ready for wherever they were headed to and she always looked so pretty. I truly believe he is up in heaven, just waiting for her again.

WAITING ON A WOMAN-Brad Paisley

I've read somewhere statistics show
The man's always the first to go
And that makes sense 'cause I know she won't be ready
So when it finally comes my time
And I get to the other side
I'll find myself a bench, if they've got any
I hope she takes her time, 'cause I don't mind
Waitin' on a woman.

Honey, take your time, cause I don't mind
Waitin' on a woman...

Still lost for words so here are some pictures from this past month

So much yet so little

This is how I can describe what's been going on lately. I've thought about many a nights composing a great blog post in my head but when I sit down what comes out is so little. Writer's block maybe?

What is coming up in head is this...

There's been a few milestones since I last blogged and a few more that are coming up.
1)We just celebrated a year living in the bay area! Yay! I am so happy we are here. The decision to move here has been a great one. This weekend, I am going on my first girls weekend since moving here with new girlfriends! Well, two of them aren't new, they are a two girls that I grew up with in OHIO and we were reconnected via facebook. One of them was my best friend in 7th grade! I am excited to head to Tahoo with them. I am so used to my girl trips with my friends from college so this will be different. But I think it different is just what the doctor ordered!

2) Just celebrated a year with my company. Wow! This has been the most challenging position I have ever had. Starting with my little experience recruiting for the creative industry and the differene between creative here vs Chicago creative. It is so vastly different. Couple that with being new to the community and trying to establish myself. It has been on huge up hill climb. I'd like to believe I have crested this hill.

Milestones to come:
1) My 33rd birthday is right around the corner. It is interesting that I am not that crazy about this birthday. I usually am ALL. ABOUT. MY. BIRTHDAY. this time around, I am not. Now it is just a number and a reminder that I am ever so creeping up on my mid 30's. To top it off,I think my body has gone on strike now that we have decided to move forward with TCC. I admit I am harboring some stress which may be causing this strike. I am hoping me and my body can figure out what is going on.

2) our 2nd anniversary is 10/22! I can't believe this is coming up so quickly. We've already purchased our gift to each other, which was a beautiful ceiling fan for our bedroom. We decided to do it a few weeks ago since now is the time for our summer, which is Sept & Oct. And since we don't have AC it would be perfect just in case we get another round of hot weather. Plus it reverses so when we need to turn the heat on, it will bring the heat back down on us since we have an old floor furnace that is only in our living room/hallway. I purchased some curtains for our bedroom to replace the awful blinds. Thanks to my mom for the gift card to BB&B. So, I am happy to say our bedroom is done!

Last weekend E and I went to the Monterey Jazz Fest. Eli worked the show, he is a sound engineer as well. So while he worked I roamed the grounds, stuffing my face with good food and filling my ears with good jazz music. On sunday, we drove to carmel. We walked around this quaint little town by the ocean, marveled at all the art galleries and clothing shops we can't afford to purchase ANTHING in and talked about our "BIG dreams. We settled ourselves at a bar, orderd spicy bloody marys and had lunch. On the way home, eli looks at me and says " the sign of a good lunch is when your burps taste good".

ahh, life is good.

Confession...

Dear Internet,
I am shameless. I admit I can't stand being stopped on the street to hear about the latest save the whatever or to sign a petition for green*peace. These people are usually camped out on my walk to and from the office. I respect their deal and what they are trying to do however, it just interferes with my purpose of either trying to get into work on time or trying to catch the train to head back home. My patience runs thin when I get randomly stopped for these things and then I feel like a bone head when I am stammering for an excuse on why I can't talk to them.

So, I've figured out the perfect plan. When I see one these people, with their clip board in hand, smiling and waving their hands to flag me down. I quickly pull out my cell phone and start talking. As soon as they see I am talking on my phone, they quickly seek out their next innocent person to stop. Ahhh, conversation averted and I am happily on my way to my destination.

so bad, I know.

It never fails

Sunday and Monday evenings are the two days where I really feel like an adult. Adult with responsibilities weighing on my shoulders. The choices I make are ones I have to carefully think about now versuses when I was in my twenties or younger. Or the amount of hours I put in for searches for open positions, the closes I make, or the counseling I provide to candidates and clients matter so much more now then they ever did before. The desire to pursue something new but knowing I need to stay put and pursure the dream on the side. Keeping it going while E is flying every week or sitting reserve in my old home town.

Who knew taking out the trash, recycling or the green bins to the curb for pick-up and back up to the house every week would have so much symbolism attach to it.

I've always wondered ***updated**

***many of you asked what test I took to find out what personality type I am. Since I don't like to withhold information. Here is the link to the site. http://discoveryhealth.queendom.com/type_a_personality_access.html
I have no idea how "legit" this is, since I just googled personality type and found this site. For me, I think it is spot on. As I like to think I am even keeled but do like a good competitve contest and challenge every now and then.
If you take the test, I'd love to hear if it was spot on for you too!!


Results of Your Type A Personality Test
Personality Type

Your score = 50

What does your score mean?
You seem to be in the middle between the Type A and Type B personality. In this case, the middle ground is good. Your attitude to life is more of the "smell the roses" kind and you know how and when to relax. Nonetheless, you realize that picking up a challenge and competing a little bit for your place in the sun can add some spice to your life. The equilibrium is important, so don't let your hostile, aggressive, and competitive alter ego take over too often. Generally, you are easy to be around, and people tend to feel relaxed and comfortable in your presence. Yours is a very healthy attitude towards life.

One of my favorite sounds

is hearing Poppy's wagging tail hit our wood floors when she is laying down. It is this continuous thumping sound. thump, thump, thump. It never fails to make me smile as I know she knows her name and the sound of my voice. Even though she is too lazy to pick her head or giant body up, her way of telling me how happy she is to let her tail go thump against the floor.

Gets me everytime.

adventures in dog sitting

This weekend I went to Chicago for a friend's wedding. I hired a dog/house sitter who was the younger sister of the girl who I normally hire to watch Poppy and our house. This girl was 18. As I look back, that was mistake #1. I met younger sis and introduced her to P and walked her through everything I needed her to do. I felt comfortable. Second mistake was to say that I didn't mind if she had someone over as long as she respected the house as it was her parent's house and to not have a party. That night, I typed out a page's worth of what I spoke to younger sis regarding the care of Poppy.

I left Thursday night. Friday morning I get a call at 830 PST time from a random person asking if I am missing a dog. I ask him twice to repeat this sentence because for the life of me I cannot process that my dog is out of my house without proper supervision. He backs up and introduces himself, where he lives and that Poppy is in his back yard. Thankfully, it was only a street above us. During this conversation, all I can think about is what f**cking happened this morning and please tell me that the younger sis is okay. I tell E, which at the time, we were in the car dropping off my friend and her husband at Midway airport. They were catching a flight to Ohio for a wedding on Friday night. E and I get back in the car. He is calling our neighbors (t&M because they rock!!) and I am trying to get a hold of younger sis. Her phone is off so I call A. A is her older sister who normally our sitter.

After piecing the events of the morning together..this is what happened. younger sis woke up to late to take Poppy for her morning walk. She also did not take the dog out to at least relieve herself. She left this to her boyfriend who was staying at our place. She left at 8am. Boyfriend had the door to our spare bedroom closed and did not hear P at all. This dog will whine if she needs go out. P needing to go out, which I find out later why she had to go so bad, will not go in the house. At All. So what P did to get herself out, is to unlatch our far window that overlooks the outside of the house. She pushed the window open and jumped 8 feet down. Meanwhile the boyfriend was fast asleep. As I mentioned before, I received a call at 830 PST that my dog was sitting in someone's backyard.
Our neighbors and A found Poppy, fixed the window and A took P to the vet. We found out that she has having diarehha and there was blood. Which explains why this dog had to get out.
The vet experience is what has me upset now. Our vet who has seen Poppy 3 times now is saying that she is overweight. I question this because she saw Poppy right after we adopted her, which was back in April. She weighed in a 109lbs. The last time we took her in, she weighed 100lbs.NOW she is telling us she is overweight? Secondly, the vet prescriped a $42 dollar bottle of sedatives along with the $20 bottle of anitbiotices because apparently our dog has colitis. I am okay with the antibiotics. But what concerns me is that she precribed sedatives without consulting me or E about whether or not Poppy really has anxiety. We mentioned to A and the younger sis that we think she does have anxiety but we are managing it by taking her out for walks twice a day. Which, I am sure that A mentioned the anxiety only because we brought it up but A is not the dog owner. I ask those of you who are dog owners, what do you think? Should the vet have prescribe the sedatives? I really hate the idea of sedating my dog. I don't think she needs it. What I have come to realize is that we do have a dog that really needs to stick to her schedule that E and I are working hard to maintain for her because she is a rescue dog. When she doesn't feel safe, she takes care of the situation to do so,which means to flee. That is my 3rd mistake, in not stressing the fact that this is the situation with our dog and this is what you must do in order to make sure she feels safe and secure when E and I are not there.
All in all, I have learned many, many lessons from this adventure. My doggie is okay, luckily she did not break anything by jumping out the open window. My window sills and blinds are another story but hopefully I can at least replace the blinds soon and we will figure out how to fix the window sills that are so torn up. It sickens me to look at them. I will never, ever hire an 18 year old to watch my house or my dog no matter how responsible they or the person who is recommending them think that they are. I also have a call into the vet to discuss her rationale on the overweight issue and most importantly her call in prescribing a $42 bottle of sedatives. That is what I am most pissed off about.

The things that make me happy at this moment

1) My hubby is home for another day and a half
2) Checking my email/blog with my hubby's mac while sitting in bed (this is what I am doing RIGHT NOW!!!)
3) My coconut oil lip balm and coconut milk cleansing lotion--both made by Alba and the smell instantly takes me to the beach.
4) This "gentle leader". We purchased this today. Today on our morning walk, E was able to witness how P can pull me when another dog is around. P and I did well tonight on our evening walk. I am hoping that this is the answer to help keep her under control when other dogs are around.
5) The bubble bath I took tonight
6) The sleepytime tea I am drinking right now

Randomness..

So, if I had to rate this week on a scale from 1-10. I think I would give it a 7.
Overall, I had a good week. Work is going well. I am rereading 7 habits of highly effective people. I've also decided to check out toastmasters in order to gain more confidence in public speaking. My first meeting is next Thursday. I am nervous, but I figure everyone that goes there is nervous for the same reasons, so I will be in good company.

Poppy training is going well. E and I are finally on the same page with training Poppy. We are totally buying into Cesar Milan aka Dog whisper's method of dog training. I do have to say it is working! I fully believe in the power of the walk. We are now walking her twice a day for at least 30 minutes. It has made a huge improvement. We still need to overcome her aggresiveness with other dogs when she is on leash but I am more confident then over that we will be able to fix it.

E is doing well with his flying. He is on reserve this month, which can sometime suck in terms of not getting flight hours. However, E is managing quite well. He is flying a ton, which is fantastic. Not only for the extra $$ we are getting but more importantly he is building his flight time. For a pilot, flight hours are EVERYTHING. I am just so proud of him and how proactive he is. It totally blows having him home only give or take 3 1/2 days a week. I do know that this isn't forever him commuting to his base in Chicago. Hopefully in the next few years, he will get picked up by another airline and be based here on the left coast.

What's been troubling me is that my two grandmothers' have been in & out of the hospital this month. It's been a revolving door between the two of them. Tonight I found out that my grandma morris is at the ER. She had a pacemaker put in a week ago and then had gallbladder surgery on Monday of this week. She was released on Wednesday but now is back in the ER tonight. We aren't sure what is going on. My other grandma, has been in and out for various reasons, but on Wednesday night, she fell at home, and broke her hip. She had surgery today and I heard she is doing well. My poor Grandpa finally got to see her today. He hasn't seen her since Wednesday night when they took her to the ER. I am worried, sad and just plain lonely. I couldn't get a hold of any of my girls to talk and E is in Chicago tonight.

Another thing that happened this week is that I was late. It was the first experience I ever had on being late. Mainly because since I was 18, I've been on BC. When I went off the pill, I missed the first month, but that was to be expected. Ever since that month, I've been right on schedule. While we aren't fully trying right now, we've also just decided what ever happens, happens. So what got me this week, is that finding out that I was late and looking at the calendar, realizing that there is really no way I could be pregnant, made me worry why I was late. Of course from the first day on that I was late all sorts of emotions kicked in. I will admit I did take a few HPTs and all of them were negative. After the 4th day, "it" showed. When it did. I will admit I was relieved but at the same time I was sad.

Maybe I am more ready then I give myself credit for. One thing is for sure, I hope my two grandmothers' and my one grandpa that is still alive will be around to see their great-grandchildren. That is my ultimate wish.





This is me with my grandmothers' at my wedding shower in Iowa.

love thy neighbor--and I do!

After a hard week at work and E being gone for almost a week, I was ready to just chill and relax tonight. I even told my co-worker how I had planned to purchase a bunch of magazines and take a bubble bath and just RELAX.

I arrived at home and to my surprise, our dog Poppy was not at the window (which she usually is) nor was she there to greet me at the door when I walk in. This kicked off the alarm bells. I looked all around the house and mind you my house is NOT THAT BIG. I noticed that the bathroom door was shut. Which is never closed. I tried to open the door and it was locked! A million thoughts ran through my head. I realized that my DOG WAS LOCKED IN THE BATHROOM! My Panic button kicked in. Poppy wasn't whinning but I could hear her moving around. Having no idea if she was hurt, I made a panic call to E who of course is sitting in Chicago. There on reserve, chilling at his brother's house. I am panicked. He is laughing. I hang up on him. Try to find a paper clip to try to jimmy the lock--not working at all.

Think about calling the fire department but decided my across the street neighbors would be better. I call T asking if her husband M was around, she said no and that was ever wrong we would put our two female brains to work. She could tell I was crying. I told her what was up. Her having two little girls of her own and dealing with many locked doors, she had what I needed...a skeleton key. Immediately she ran over and unlocked the door.

As soon as the door opens Poppy runs out. We look in and the bathroom is covered with Sh**T EVERYWHERE!! Poor thing. I think she got so scared, she literally pooped herself.

I gave T a huge hug,thanked her a million times over and told her I am so getting a bottle of wine after all this craziness. She says no you are not (after offering to help me clean my sh**t covered bathroom, I declined this offer of help). You are coming over and having wine with me. GOD LOVE HER!

I cleaned Poppy and the bathroom. I even managed to surpress the gagging while spraying the tub down the outside hose that I pulled through the tiny window. I am sad to say the bathroom rug didn't make it but I am pleased that the shower curtain and liner did.


Afterwards, I went across the street. T fed me a yummy dinner, wine and we had wonderful conversation. T & M are the best!

Midwestern work ethic..

My uncle from Iowa sent me this link tonight. It showcases the heartbreaking ordeal that the folks from IA, MO, IL are experiencing with the latest flood. Despite the fact these folks' homes, business and overall way of life were destroyed does not break their spirit one bit. I am proud to say that I am a midwestern girl. I moved around quite a bit as a child and finally settled in OHIO when I was in 6th grade and went on to college in OHIO. Spent 8 years in Chicago and now have moved to the left coast.Even though I now call California home, I will always be proud of my midwestern roots.

http://www.usatoday.com/weather/gallery/2008/w080611_midwest_flooding/flash.htm

Morning coffee...

During a trip to Pier 1 a couple of weeks ago ( thanks to our wonderful friends and family who purchased gift cards as our wedding gift) I stumbled upon a coffee mug that said, "Think Big". As some one who cherishes motivational quotes and does daily affirmations, I thought how perfect is this.
Every time I look at this coffee mug, when I am drinking out of it, hand washing it and putting it away or taking it out, it reminds me to look at the bigger picture. To put life into perspective.

All the doom and gloom going on right now in the world (layoffs, cost of gas and food, foreclosures on homes). Plus E gone so much out of the week with his work schedule coupled with his commuting to his base in Chicago. We are starting to feel the pinch. My own questions about my career are starting to perk up. It is so easy to get so bogged down in the yuckiness of everything. This "think big" mug helps me see beyond what it is currently going on. To be the best I can be and to rise to the occasion. It gives me fire and determination.

Last new years, E and I made a promise to each other that at the beginning of the year, we would set both couple goals and individual goals. In order to keep us moving forward as a couple and as individuals. Over the weekend, I took a look at the goals we set as a couple and my own personal goals. My one of many personal goals, which the one I blogged about earlier in the year, is becoming a career/life coach. I still want to achieve this goal. I know in the last 6 months, I've pushed this on the backburner for one reason or another. However, over this last week, I've started to visualize this new venture. Which caused me seek out folks and information to help me get started. I don't know how long it will take me to achieve this goal. But I do have my daily dose of fire and determination to get me there.

Ode to my summer swap partner-Audrey

After a long day of work, I struggled through door,
Dropped my keys on table and my purse on the floor.
I saw on the kitchen table a big old box so sturdy and stable.
I squealed in delight and I knew what ever was in this package is what I definitely needed that night.
I grabbed my favorite pair of shears and ripped open the top.
I was so happy that my summer swap package...
was finally here.

Thank you Audrey for my summer package of joy.
Here are the pictures for the others to enjoy.



S-Sports Bottle
U-Ultra Protection Sunblock
M-Memory Holder
M-Milkbone treats for Poppy
E-Enjoyment for your summer days
R-Reversible Beach Towel



Love, love the pink sports bottle! This definitely comes in handy because I am trying to not drink bottled water anymore--plastic waste and stuff. Plus I love that it is pink because Eli won't use it when he goes on his bike rides.


How did you know my hubby has the most sun sensitive skin ever?? This is perfect and just the other week, E called me at work asking me if I knew where his 30+ sunblock was.


I have some great pictures from my recent trip to Chicago to put in here!!


We've got one happy Poppy on our hands :)


This ultra sized Frisbee is going to be a hit at our 4th July BBQ next weekend!



Something about a new beach towel that makes me very happy!!

Becoming a pack leader

This weekend while I was in Chicago, I discovered the Dog Whisperer.
I have always "heard" of this man and his amazing ability to calm the wildest of wild dog(s). This weekend, I was introduced. And I watched and watched his show. After watching it, I realized some things about how I was treating Poppy and how Poppy was treating me. I am carrying this over to my personal and professional life. The DW philosophy in how you work with canines in being the pack leader is thee following: A pack leader does not project emotional or nervous energy and neither should you. This is what the DW calls calm-assertive energy.

This makes totally sense to me in working with my dog and in my own life because people just like dogs like it when someone is in control. In terms of people, you don't want to "control" someone but be in control; have a say, make a decision, make a point, disagree if need be, but be in control of you. In a calm and quiet way. When you have control in a calm and quiet way everything falls into place and you gain respect. Respect in a positive, leadership, trustworthy and a nice kind of way.

I've already noticed a difference within myself in how I work my coworkers, my boss and my clients. I definitely noticed it tonight with Poppy. She and I had an amazing experience during our walk to the dog park and when I took her off the leash at the park.

I guess there is a reason they call the DW the Dr Phil of dogs. I just never paid that much attention to Dr Phil.

I remember why...

We haven't been married long nor have we really gone through knock down hard stuff nor do we have kids but tonight reminded me of why I fell in love with my husband.
After work, I met him out for a drink, dinner and then a live music show at the place where he does sound (his other job). I arrived at the bar and he had a glass of red wine waiting for me. We joked a bit about how his other girlfriend off and left because she knew I was coming and was so sweet to leave me her untouched glass of cabernet. After discussing whether or not a bbq place would be the perfect place for a first date, we decided even though we aren't on our first date we should head there for some yummy southern bbq. After we placed our order. We talked and laughed. Continued to laugh all through dinner. The laughter I experienced instantly brought me back to when we were first dating, living together and everything else we have been through. And of course, one of the many reasons why I fell in love with him.
I am sure me missing him so much when he is on his trips fueled this memory lane kick. However, it is sure nice to be reminded why you love someone so much.

A rose to share

Thank you so much Trish for the pink rose! I truly appreciate all the thoughts and encouragements regarding our venture into expanding our family. I will certainly keep you posted on our adventure. As of now, I have decided to wait.

I would like to honor a few more friends because their humor, sharing of their lives, and overall support they provide to me and everyone else is so precious!

Here are my nominees ( I kinda feel like I am at the Oscars! hee hee)

Queen Lindstifa
A great friend of mine from my Chicago days. Her humor will get you through ANYTHING!
I have had the great experience of Kansas city BBQ with her, many vino nights, and overall good blog reading and of course a great friend. I think each of you would enjoy her as much as I have over the course of our friendship.

Tracey
This is another friend of mine from my Chicago days. Such a wonderful gal she is. She just gave notice from her high profile position at an amazing interactive agency. She is embarking on another high profile position--raising her cute as all get out son, Owen. She is filled with "call it as it is humor". She has always been a person I can "talk at her head with" I encourage everyone to check out her blog. support, laugh, cry with her as you have with me, as she takes this amazing step.

KMT
I must admit, I have a soft spot for KMT. She and I have similar lives as it relates to our DH's. Both our husbands are pilots. I have appreciated her support so much as I've embarked on this adventure with E pursuing his dream. I know she is someone who will always be able to relate when it comes to having your husband be gone every week. :)


Give the Pink Rose Award to those who inspire you or need to be inspired, to those who have encouraged you or those who need encouragement.

Here's what to do:
1. On your blog, copy and paste the award, these rules, a link back to the person who selected you, and a link to this post: http://smartone.typepad.com/smartone/2008/05/pink-is-my-favo.html. You will find the story behind the Pink Rose Award and other graphics to choose from there.
2. Select as many award recipients as you would like, link to their blogs (if they have one), and explain why you have chosen them.
3. Let them know that you have selected them for an award by commenting on one of their posts.
4. If you are selected, pass it on by giving the Pink Rose Award to others.
5. If you find that someone you want to nominate has already been selected by someone else, you can still honor them by posting a comment on their award post stating your reasons for wishing to grant them the award.
6. You do not have to wait until someone nominates you to nominate someone else.

Summer Swap

I am excited! It is that time of year again to participate in the swaps of all swaps!
Can't wait to see who all is participating!!
Don't forget to post the swap button! We need to know who you are :)

Sex and the City

Cosmos, friends, fashion and sex! What a great way to spend a friday night! Yep, I went to the opening night of SATC! I have never done this before. I usually prefer to watch movies in the comfort of my own home and not pay the high priced movie ticket. But for the fab 4 girls from NYC, I just had to do it!
I won't say anything about the movie except for the fact I literally cried through the whole thing. Not cry, cry but just a steady stream of tears falling down my face. I love what these woman represent. Friendship. Good strong, healthy friendships. The friendships that allow you to call someone at 4am, 7am or midnight when you need something. Friendships that you know will be there when you fall and celebrate with you when you are back up on your feet. It's all Priceless really! You can have all the money, clothes, trips in the world but if you don't have true friends, you are poor in my book. Relationships are what makes the world go round.

I miss my girls in Chicago, Boston and Columbus. I am so fortunate for the girls I am meeting here and the close friendships that are developing. One girl who I was besties with in 7th grade back in Ohio, we have totally reconnected. I am so fortunate to have all of you out there who read my blog and comment. Especially regarding this last post. I needed to hear what you all had to say on the subject. Thank you.

Go see the movie or wait till it comes out on video. You won't regret it. It will make you appreciate those friendships in your life and how meaningful they are.

"True friends are angels in disguise"

How do you know if you are ready to buy the ticket and get on the train

This is my analogy with E and me about having babies. We want to step up to the ticket booth, we want to buy the ticket, we've even tried to purchase the ticket but we aren't sure we want to get on the train.
So my question is how do you know if you are ready to make that step and bring a child into this world?
E shared with me after his last trip that he is ready. I think am but at the same time, I am not sure. I can't quite tell you why we should wait except for fear? maybe.
I am a thinker, by nature. So I constantly analyze my thoughts. Am I really having baby fever or is it that I just want the next thing because my life has moved in warp speed since I met my husband that I need the next thing? Then at the same time, I find myself looking just a little bit longer at the pregnant women I see. Admiring their bellies. I see pictures and listen to other parents talk about their babies and kids and my heart skips. When I think hard about if I or my hubby would be a good parent--no doubts. I don't worry about how it will change my life because I know it will and we will adjust. I've thought how wonderful it would be to have a chunky baby sitting on my lap and it being my child, watch and nurture its growth. It gives me such a wonderful feeling inside.
I do worry about finances and that I will have to go back to work. Will I be able to find good care and can we afford it. But I can't imagine that is a reason to wait. Or is it? I guess the biggest thing that scares me is taking that leap and letting G-d/nature take over. I've controlled my body for so long with birth control. This month is a year since being off the pill, however I still have had control over not getting pregnant. Now with my hubby sharing with me that he is ready. Am I ready to give up that control, give in to what i think my instincts might be saying and seeing what happens?

chronicles of non-revenue travel

It is now 8:06pm PST and I am on a train from San Jose to San
Francisco. I bet you are asking yourself why a train? Well, here is
the reason why? However, first should explain how my husband and I travel.
Since he works for an airline, we have the luxury of receiving airline benefits. We can hop on any of his company's flights that is our heart's desire. The
key component of this benefit is that, there must be space available
for us non-paying passengers. As it should, preference is given to
paying or "revenue" passengers.

Our day started at 6am EST. We headed to Hartsfield-Jackson Airport in Atlanta, GA.
We were in Atlanta this weekend visiting my parents. Which was so much fun and so desperately needed.
For some reason, we were unable to print my security document at my parent's house, so once we arrived to the airport, we stood in the long ticket counter line. Eli and I split off to see which line would go the fastest. Surely, I thought the line to the kiosk that was just check in only, no baggage, would go the fastest. I was wrong. This wouldn't be the first time today that I would guess wrong. Eli made it to the kiosk/baggage check in before I did so I joined him at the counter to pick up my pass.

We then headed to the security line that wrapped around the ticketing
area twice! One would think this line would take forever, but it
didn't. Just a mere 30 minutes to get through security. Easy Money!!

The start of this trip seemed to go smoothly, we have our security documents, made it through security with no problem and we got on the 8am flight to Dallas with ease, well almost. Immedialy upon receiving our seat assignments we were told we needed to check our luggage since all the overhead bin space was taken.

As a non-revenue passenger, you learn to pack lightly so that you can keep your luggage with you at ll times. the airlines lose the luggage and you are SOL. It is quite the panic when you have to give up your bag. I seriously think we stood there for 10 minutes staring at our suitcases wondering if we should leave them. We finally mustered up the confidence to say goodbye to our bags and headed on the plane.

After 20 minutes of sitting at the gate, the pilot comes on with a PA
stating that the plane was having lavatory problems and it would be
another 20 minute wait. Now, normally this wouldn't bother me or Eli but
because we knew we would have problems in Dallas connecting onto SFO, we needed to get there as soon as possible. We gathered our things and rushed to the
845am flight to Dallas. We got on the flight to Dallas and with our
luggage en route to SFO, we figured things would be okay. We were
more then wrong....

Landed in Dallas, rushed to the monitors to see what gate the SFO
flight would be departing out of. Much to our luck, it was in the same terminal. Much to our bad luck the flight was completely oversold. We
instantly rolled over the next SFO flight non rev stand by list. We
then put our heads together and figured out that there was an oakland
flight from dallas. The chances didn't look great but they looked
better then the flights to SFO.

We head to the ticket counter, I for some reason,was filled with
optimisim in thinking we would make this flight. I even started to
plan out the rest of my afternoon. How quickly reality bopped me upside
the head. Everyone, I mean EVERYONE showed up for that flight. No
space. at. all.

We moved on to the next SFO flight. No love. Next thought, San Jose.
No love. At this point, we needed to get out of Dallas. We were 0-5
and we needed to head west. The further west we could get the better
off we would be. At this point, we did contemplate heading to mexico
for a few days. the hell with work right? But I forgot to bring my
passport with me. Boo....

We looked at Vegas, Los Angeles, Denver, SLC, We finally settled on
San Diego. At least we would be in California!!! During this flight,
we finally were able to get some alcohol in us. The lovely flight
attendant kept us well fed of adult beverages. This definiely helped
ease our pain...a bit. We made it San Diego but missed our connection
to LA because the airline pushed the plane 20 minutes early. DOH! I almost lost it. I had to walk away from the ticket counter because another responsibility of being a non-rev traveler is that you have to be nice!!!! Plus it would look so bad on E if I had a major breakdown.

Both of us at our wits end at this point, we finally settled on another flight to San Jose. By this time, we picked up two travel buddies who were having a similar experience with their non-rev travel as we were. We had crossed paths with them in Dallas and had traveled the similar flight legs.

The four of us discussed what we were going to do once we landed in SJ. Luckily, the wife of the pair had experience with cal train so we decided split a cab to the train station. We arrived at the train station and not a minute later, the train arrived. All four of us were jumping for joy! We boarded the train and quickly realized we were going the wrong way. Double Doh and much laughter between the four of us. We jumped off at the next stop and caught the train heading in the correct direction. As we passed the train station we originally boarded, I then saw the sign we were standing in front of directing us to the appropriate track to catch the train to San Francisco. I tried so hard to take a picture but of course my camera died right then and there.

We arrived at the correct station an hour later, where the four of us split off. Eli and I had another hour and 10 minute train ride home on BART.

Needless to say, 19 hours, 4 airports and two trains later. I am home and Eli is out playing poker with his friends. I wrote most of this post on the train and am now posting it.

Eli finished up his IOE training last week and will be starting reserve this week. He leaves again for a 5 day trip. I think I am going to stay put for awhile.

Peace offering...

Love you schmoop! I am sorry I made you mad the other day! Can't wait to hang out on Saturday with you.
Here are the lyrics to the song I am always singing to you.

The Way I Am--Ingrid Michaelson

If you were falling, then I would catch you.
You need a light, I'd find a match.

Cuz I love the way you say good morning.
And you take me the way I am.

If you are chilly, here take my sweater.
Your head is aching, I'll make it better.

Cuz I love the way you call me baby.
And you take me the way I am.

I'd buy you Rogaine if you start losing all your hair.
Sew on patches to all you tear.

Cuz I love you more than I could ever promise.
And you take me the way I am.
You take me the way I am.
You take me the way I am.

Camera tips--what I know

Thanks so much for all the picture compliments! You all made me feel so good!!!
I have to say with those pictures it is all about the "mode". We have a basic digital camera--Hp photosmart. Nothing fancy at all. However, sitting down with Urs,she showed me the different picture modes she uses with her camera.

So for example, the sunset pictures from the previous post. I took them with the "sunset" mode. Then I played with the color options--b&W, etc to get a more interesting look. I would think every digital camera has mode and color options. It took me awhile to figure out how to find it as it isn't as apparent on my camera as it is on Urs's. She has a much better camera than we do.On close ups, like I took with the roses, I used the "macro" setting.

The header picture and the one with the bird--I think I just got really lucky on top of using the different picture modes :)

Definitely still a novice with this so I would love to share tips and tricks! Hope this helps!

Playing with my camera

So I have this friend, well, she and E have been friends for a long time. When we moved up here, she and I have become fast friends. She inspires me in a lot of ways but for now I will share how she inspires me with learning the ways of my digital camera. Said friend takes amazing pictures. I love looking at "her subjects" and the way she uses her digital camera to capture the moment. When we all were in Napa for our bike ride she shared with me basic tips on how to use our digital camera. Since then, as you can see from the changes of my blog, I have started to play with my camera. The header picture of the A's flag, I took :) Same with the side bar pics. Those are the roses from my backyard. So proud!
Last night, she and I decided to take advantage of the warmer then normal temps for this area and go have beers and mexican food outside. I really think it was meant to be. The resturant we went to is on the water and since it was so warm out we for sure thought the resturant would be packed. It wasn't! We had a 5 minute wait and received a "choice" seat outside on the patio. We sipped on Pacificos, stuffed ourselves with yummy mexican food, great conversation, laughter and watched the sunset. I couldn't have asked for a better way to end my weekend. On top of the E came home from his second IOE trip later that night.
Here are some pictures from our view at dinner.

Video of Poppy

I shot this video for my parents so they could see Poppy at play. I love how she shakes her head back and forth with the "squirrel ball" Of course as you will see, she is tired and doesn't want to play anymore and goes directly inside. Prior to this, We had a trip up to the dog park and played around in the backyard--so she had enough of the play. Of course now, she is sound asleep on her doggie bed. My next video is to catch her snoring.

Looking for an interesting MeMe

Then go here

You can heat yourself up to a thought provoking and food inspired meme.

Bon Appetit!

Me Me-from Kristen :)

Here’s how this one works…
1. The rules are posted at the beginning.
2. Each player answers the questions about themselves.
3. At the end of the post, the player then tags 5 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves a comment, letting them know they’ve been tagged and ask them to read your blog.

What I was doing 10 years ago:
1998-Having way too much fun in Athens, Ohio with all my girls! Life was so much easier then. I had no idea that life would take me to California 10 years later.

Five things on my to do list for today:
Take care of poppy in the am
bunch of work stuff
take out and go to the dog park with poppy in the pm
call E to see what's up now that he started IOE
get caught up with email, blog and more work stuff


Things I would do if I were a billionaire:
Take care of my parents and MIL. take care of us, donate some to charity, pay off our house, go live abroad and have many babies. Not work at all!

Three of my bad habits:
negative thoughts about me, x 3

Five places I have lived:
Bay area: my current home and MIL's house
Orange County, CA
Chicago, IL: 7 apartments all in the city (8 years total)

Five jobs I have had:
Talent Manager - FIlTER-current
Account Manager- Paladin
Interactive Consultant-TMP Worldwide
Account Executive -TMP Worldwide
Recruiter-Stepan Company

I am not sure who is left to be tagged. If you read this and want to participate,then you are tagged!!!!

Love a man in uniform

I don't care what uniform he has on...he still makes my stomach flip flop

Poppy

Sorry for the delay

It's been awhile for sure! E's been home now for 3 weeks! It's been so great. He is currently waiting to go for IOE, which is "initial operating experience." Essentially he has to observe the pilots flying the jet he will be flying before he can be put on line. SO...he is home. He got a call last wednesday that had him scheduled for a trip to Chicago leaving last Sunday for the week. But at 630am on Sunday, crew scheduling called and cancelled the trip. I swear if he doesn't get called soon, I think he is going to go nuts. He is getting a ton of yard work done so that's been really helpful.

I am going to try to fix the slideshow of Poppy. We are having so much fun with her. She has totally become one of the family. Tonight we took her to Point Isabel. It is a dog park near the bay. There are a ton of doggies and you have amazing views of San Francisco, Golden Gate Bridge and the Bay Bridge. We were so proud of Poppy as we took her of the leash for the second time. She did so well!! While I am so happy she is with us, it literally breaks my heart when I stop to think about the family who left her. Whoever this family was they did an excellent job training her. She will only sleep on her doggie bed. When I tell her to go lie down, she immediately trots to her bed. She has not had an accident in the house. I could go on and on.

Will promise to catch up here soon with everyone.

Pictures of our girl

Here are some pics of our new doggie. Over the last few days,we started to notice that she doesn't respond to Truffle. Since she was a stray, I think Smiley Dog just gave her that name.With her now 4 years old, whatever name she had before it doesn't seem to register with her as sounding anywhere near Truffle. So my colleague suggested that I just call her puppy. Wouldn't you know it, she is responding! So we altered it to be Poppy (which is the california state flower) and she is REALLY responding to it. So I think we will change her name to Poppy. Overall, the adjustment is going really well. I think its helping that E is home now. He is waiting to get called for is in flight training. Poppy is instantly becoming a part of our family. I am so happy we have her in our life.

We got her!!

Truffle is ours!! She is here tonight! I already can't imagine our lives without her. Hearing her clomp on our wood floors and slurping her water it literally brings tear to my eyes. I am so happy we did this. My camera died as I was taking pictures of her. I promise I will post pics as soon as possible

40 miles & vineyards

Our Sunday morning started at 6am. Why I agreed to get up at 6 am on my Sunday morning was proved to me when I got on my bike at 830am in Napa aka wine country!
E, our dear friend Ursula and myself got up this morning to do a bike ride in Napa. This was all Urs's idea. A grand idea it was! E and I hated getting up so early on my weekend but we knew it would be well worth it. I can't begin to describe our scenery, which is why I am including a link to pictures.
We started out in Napa and rode into St. Helena for some breakfast. This was 20 miles later. After breakfast we started our trek back. With a full stomach we just had to stop and taste test what wine country had to offer. Our first stop was Mumm Winery. Hello! Champagne!!! We each sampled their classic offerings. My favorite was the Brute Prestige. Even with a full stomach the 3 glasses of champagne each went straight to me and Urs's head. We got back on our bikes and rode for another 15 miles. We then stopped at Pine Ridge for wine. My camera died at this point so I don't have pictures of this stop. We all shared 8 glasses of wine. We tasted 2 whites and 5 reds. All 3 of us voted, our favorite was the Oakville and Stags Leap Cabernet.
We left there and biked the 6 miles to our car. I'll be honest, my legs were jello from breakfast on. I am so sore but it was so worth it! As we were making our way back to the car. Urs and I noticed a "fresh strawberry" stand. We both agreed that we have to go back and pick up some fresh strawberries. E was way ahead of us so he was back at the car first. Urs and I biked in and immediately were chatting up the fresh strawberry stand we saw. We went back Urs and I got our 4 pints of strawberries and we were happy. As soon as we got home, I made strawberry shortcake. Our total mileage today was indeed 40 miles. It's been quite some time since I have rode my bike for that long.
As a tribute to my friend Linds and her capturing quotes. Here are two. The first one was said by our winery person as he was listening to our conversation about wine. The second was part of the description for the Oakville cabernet. Both at Pine Ridge Winery.
"100% delicious"
"firm and silky upon entry"

The next newest Robbins....we hope!!

Keep your fingers crossed. We put in an adoption application for this big bundle of fur. Her name is Truffle. She is a Bernese Mountain/Newfoundland mix. She is one big love bug. I just found out tonight that she is ours but we have to pass the home visit. We are adopting her from Smiley Dog Rescue. She is 4 years old.

I am in love!

The next newest Robbins....we hope!!

"This is your husband speaking..."

Hello to all blog friends,

This is Eli writing. You know-- the husband who left his lovely Heather alone for seven weeks to fight boredom, broken cars, stick shifts, bills, weeds, gardens, and cleaning the dishes all by her self-- yeah, THAT Eli.

I'm not normally one for logging into other people's accounts without them knowing, but one benefit of being married is you tend to know your spouse's passwords to all their accounts. And if you don't, then your home computer remembers them for you, as is the case in Heather's blog. But I've hacked into her blog for a good reason:

I just wanted to send a big, huge, "THANK YOU" to all of you in her blogging world! You seem to be an incredible source of support for my wife and she loves sharing with all of you. Though Heather got through the last seven weeks without me (and she did impressively well, I might add), she could not have done it without you. So thanks again for making sure I didn't come home to changed locks and a middle finger staring me in the face!

love,
Eli

P.S. Here's a photo of the plane I'll be flying!

spring in my step and sparkle in my eye

All is good and calm at the nest. E is home and our worlds are back to normal. YAY!
I did however shed a tear today. Is anyone surprised? I am not. It is all because I read this...

Being a Mom


We are sitting at lunch one day when my daughter casually
mentions that she and her husband are thinking of 'starting a family.'
'We're taking a survey,' she says half-joking.

'Do you think I should have a baby?' "It will change your life,' I
say,carefully keeping my tone neutral.

'I know,' she says, 'no more sleeping in on weekends, no more
spontaneous vacations.'

But that is not what I meant at all.

I look at my daughter, trying to decide what to tell her. I want her to
know what she will never learn in childbirth classes.

I want to tell her that the physical wounds of child bearing will
heal, but becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that
she will forever be vulnerable.

I consider warning her that she will never again read a newspaper
without asking, 'What if that had been MY child?' That every plane crash,
every house fire will haunt her. That when she sees pictures of starving
children, she will wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child
die.

I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think that
no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce her to
the primitive level of a bear protecting her cub.

That an urgent call of 'Mom!' will cause her to drop a soufflé or her
best crystal without a moments hesitation.

I feel that I should warn her that no matter how many years she has
invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood.

She might arrange for child-care, but one day she will be going into an
important business meeting and she will think of her baby's sweet
smell.
She will have to use every ounce of discipline to keep from running
home, just to make sure her baby is alright.

I want my daughter to know that every day decisions will no longer be
routine. That a five year old boy's desire to go to the men's room
rather than the women's at McDonald's will become a major dilemma. That right
there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming children, issues
of independence and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect
that a child molester may be lurking in that rest-room.

However decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess herself
constantly as a mother.

Looking at my attractive daughter, I want to assure her that eventually
she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will never feel the same
about herself.

That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she
has a child.

That she would give herself up in a moment to save her offspring, but
will also begin to hope for more years, not to accomplish her own dreams,
but to watch her child accomplish theirs.

I want her to know that a cesarean scar or shiny stretch marks will
become badges of honor. Vanity becomes a thing of the past, she will
unselfishly stand back and allow her children to shine.


My daughter's relationship with her husband will change, but not in the
way she thinks. I wish she could understand how much more you can love a
man who carefully bathes the baby or who never hesitates to feed, change or
play with his child. I think she should know that she will fall in love with
him again for reasons she would now find very unromantic.

I wish my daughter could sense the bond she will feel with women
throughout history who have tried to stop war, prejudice and drunk driving.


I want to describe to my daughter the exhilaration of seeing your child
learn to ride a bike. I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a
baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog or cat for the first time. I want
her to taste the joy that is so real it actually hurts.

My daughter's quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed in
my eyes. 'You'll never regret it,' I finally say. Then I reached across
the table, squeezed my daughter's hand and offered a silent prayer for her,
andfor me, and for all the mere mortal women who stumble their way into
this most wonderful of callings.

Please share this with a Mom that you know or all of your girlfriends
who may someday be Moms.

May you always have in your arms
the one who is in your heart.

If this doesn't make your ovaries skip a beat and kick baby fever into overdrive. I don't know what will.

Dirt and stuff..

Today I confirmed the following:
1) There is something special about having the sunshine wake you up at 8am on a saturday morning.
2) Despite being so far away from my family and my girlfriends, I am so happy we are living in the bay area.
3) I will some how, some way conquer the weeds that are taking over my back yard and now the front yard
4) I will focus on getting my would be garden up and running.
5) I finished getting rid of the nasty weeds that were inhabiting my would be garden.
6) I hate snails!
7) I hate worms!
8) This is the longest weekend EVER!
9) I don't miss the midwest cold. Today I got to wear at one point during the day, a tank and shorts
10) I do miss my husband and wish it was Monday so he could be back at home already.



Here is the space for my garden to be. Once E gets home, we are going to figure out what we want to grow.



This is the "green waste" bin that I filled up today. If you look beyond the bin, you can see the weeds that become my backyard. I hate weeds!



The motivation to start a garden. This is a lemon that is growning my backyard from our young meyer lemon tree.



Meet Van Gogh. The neighborhood cat. He is the sweetest thing ever! When we first moved in and had all of our doors open. This little snuggle bug found his way many times on to our bed. I wish I took pics of him camping out in our house. He kept me company today while I did my thing in the backyard.



My hand was shaky and my little digital camera isn't so great at the clos ups. So I apologize for the blurry picture. But in reality this snail is HUGE! I ran into even more of them as I cleared out the weeds. They scared the crap out of me!

randomness..

Every day I've been trying to think of something clever to post about. But just can't seem get my thoughts down. So here are some snippets of ideas I have thought to post about this week.

City Sidewalks.....
I work in San Francisco so you have the usually city stuff...traffic, people everywhere, sounds of car horns, which drive me bonkers. An occasional homeless person or 2 maybe 3. Who actually are starting to recognize my face and say hello.
Yesterday I saw a biker--not motorcycle biker but regular street bike biker who had a sign on his front handle bars saying "cars=weapons of mass destruction" I started busting out laughing when I read this. Only in SF.

Driving Stick...
I paralleled parked yesterday! Woot woot!

Reflections on the last 6 weeks
I feel kind of embarrassed about how I was reacting to E being gone. I feel like I didn't handle myself so well and it was only 6 weeks. I think about all those families with their loved ones in Iraq who are gone 10x as long as E and how hard it must be to have them gone. Dealing with their everyday lives. Some raising children all on their own without the help of their spouse or others just not having their loved ones around and worrying about them being in constant danger. Here I am, single--meaning we don't have kids or pets, he wasn't in danger and I was a basket case. I feel a little selfish about how I dealt with it.

My garden
I decided last weekend the best way to get over my hangover was to start cleaning out the weeds and dead vegetable plants. In my backyard, I have a 10x10 area that was used as a vegetable garden by the previous owners of our house. I got about 3/4 of the way through the weeds and dead plants. So with the warm weather this weekend, my plan is to get back out there to finish cleaning out the weeds, get rid of the dead bean stalks and add some fertilizer soil to get it ready to start planting some yummy vegetables. After that, I need to decide what I am going to plant. I am also dying to start my own compost pile so I have good fertilizer for my garden. Plus it will help reduce the garbage that I put out. Gotta reduce my carbon footprint some how.

E
He comes home on Monday. I cannot freaking wait. His pilot hat arrived in the mail last week. I had some fun with the pilot hat and sent him some pictures. When he was home last weekend, he took his pilot jacket in to get tailored. I will be sure to post pictures in his new uniform. No more SWA smurf uniforms. We've chatted about taking off for a few days to Mexico. Maybe next weekend. Do a saturday-monday trip where we can sit in the warm sun and just be. Wouldn't that be nice?

7 days...

Yes.. a mere 7 days more before my hubby comes back from ground school. A week! Just one tiny week more.

The "Tank" update

So overall the "Tank" and I are getting along. I am managing the stick shift thing quite well and it is becoming second nature to me. I've started driving to the other BART (bay area rapid transit) Station that is about 15 minutes away so I can sleep in 30 minute more each morning. I will admit, I do take the long way to get there because it is all flat road. I can handle the start and stops along the way. My goal is though to tackle this steep hill that is in my path between my house and both BART Stations. Maybe tomorrow or Friday I will do this.

Going home, I've forced myself to take the back roads so that I can get used to driving on the rolling hills along the way. I've mastered the art of using the emergency brake to help get the car going and then releasing it when the clutch and gas are engaged together. Tonight, I was able to conquer some the smaller hills without using it :)

My best friend C put it perspective for me about learning to drive this car. She said, look at it this way, E is learning to fly a plane while you are learing to drive a stick shift. For some reason, this gave me the "ah ha" moment of clarity I so desparately needed.

So all you stick shift drivers out there, you can be proud me!! All your kind words of support and encourgagement certainly helped! You gave me the will to not let you down!!!



The Tank and I may never fully get along but at least we are now playing nice.

I'd like to get off the rollercoaster please?

Is there someway I can stop this ride? I can't seem to get a handle on my emotions. One day I am feeling great, happy, loving life, nothing can stop me now attitude and the next day--snap! I am in tears over something really incredibly stupid. I am questioning everything--my job and my ability to survive the next two weeks while E is at ground school. I can't figure out what is causing this roller coaster of emotions. Does going off the pill affect you this badly? It's been almost a year since I went off--while it sucked the first couple of months, could it still be affecting me? Or am I really this unstable? ;) I already called my dad this morning in tears because the stupid car was locked up. I couldn't turn the wheel or get the key to turn over in the ignition. Tears again this afternoon because I couldn't figure out how to get the car in reverse and how to change the windshield wipers. Seriously internet--I know I need to chill out. Luckily, the car in front of me in the parking lot left so I could move forward and my great neighbor came over to change the wipers for me. This all thanks to a call made by E.

I'd like someone to pull the emergency brake for me because I have had it and want off this silly ride.

Big Girl Pants: 50, Me: 0

I am in the final home stretch of E away. If all goes according to schedule I should have my husband home on March 24th. Yay for me. I finally got the bedroom painted, the furniture moved back in. Learned how to change a flat tire, purchased a new tire, etc, etc.

However, someone some where thinks I still need to grow up more because the hits just keep on coming.

Tonight I found out that my alternator in my car is going out. I discovered this because my battery light came on tonight as I was driving home. Now the miss independent that I am trying to be, took a looksie at my owner's manual to see this all means. I quickly found out that what it means is NOT GOOD. I called, um rather... I had E call the mechanic. The mechanic forbid me not to drive the car until we can meet up next Tuesday for him to fix it. If I do, then we have big problems. Essentially the alternator is not charging the battery and if the car is on it will drain the battery.
So I don't drive the car. No biggie right? My husband has his car here and I can just drive that. Well, the problem here is that I am not a great stick shift driver. I can manage but I am just not comfortable on the hills. No, actually I am deathly afraid of hills. Did you know that the Bay Area is FILLED with hills! I even live on a hill!


So I need to go find my big girl pants and teach myself how to drive a stick shift--hills and all.


Is it March 24th yet?

My pet peeve of the week

Why must people think it is okay to walk and read at the same time?

I had to manuever myself around 3 separate people yesterday while they continued to read their commuting literature while they were walking on the sidewalk!!

I mean seriously..you don't read and drive....why is walking any different??

More things I have learned...

1) How to change a flat tire
2) How to find the hole in the tire and discovering that a hole in the sidewall of the tire means tire cannot be fixed.
3) How to know how much air needs to be in respective tire
4) Normally when you buy a new tire you get two new tires
5) I have to have my own costco membership to purchase new tire
6) How touch up paint when you buy a new can of paint
7) How a quart and half of paint will not paint a whole room and the ceiling this is after you buy a gallon of paint to paint the room and the ceiling and still does not paint the whole room
8) The blessed experience it is to have both my husband and I to have great relationships with our respected in-laws. We both actually enjoy seeing and spending time with them without the other person there.
9)As I have my own experiences, challenges, and break downs, my mom has had the same experiences, challenges and break downs. She is always there to listen and understand even though we are 2100 miles away from each other.
10) Making time for new friendships. It's those new friendships that can possibly get you through the hardest times.

Speaking of my mom. She just entered the world of blogging! Check out her blog and route her on!!! Mom's Blog

ahhh, the weekend...

My weekend was so wonderful. Well Friday night through Sunday morning was good. The rest of the day on Sunday, was just plain BLAH! However, we will focus on the good parts of the weekend. E arrived at 9:30pm. A little delayed but it was okay because I got to take a nap and shower before I went to pick him up from the airport. Friday night was all about catching up! Saturday we both were up and dressed by 9:15am!! This is huge because my husband is a sleeper! He could sleep all day if he could. Me, I am the total opposite. I wake up at 7am and go all day long. I seriously fault 10 years of working that inhibits my ability to sleep in.

Our Saturday consisted of running errands, seeing friends and hanging out. Oh, and he taught me how to check my oil and refill the oil in my car should it run low again. We reveled in the fact that we are such in a good place in our lives. We are getting the hang of the marriage thing, he is now only working one job and not going to school, I am in a good place my work, etc. Life is good!

We also took on the job of painting our room. It was the first time we have ever done something like this and it was hiliarous! We ordered pizza, drank some beers and managed to finish the room. I can't post pictures just yet because towards the end of the project we started to run out of paint so were doing everything we could to make the paint last and get the room done. So on Monday, I went and purchased some more paint to touch up the areas that were sparse. Our walls are textured so the paint didn't catch in some parts. So while touching up the paint, I managed to screw everything up so I have to repaint the room.

Sunday, E left early. I came home from the airport and was so down, I just sat on my couch, watched pointless tv and worked on my beginner knitting project. I am very thankful for having Monday off because I pushed myself out of the house, which is what I needed.

Overall, I am slowly getting used to this lifestyle. It's amazing what happens to you when you are single for so long and love to live independently and then you meet someone, fall in love, get married and come to relay on your husband for so much! When you are put into a situation where you have to be independent again, it kinda rattles you. At least it is for me. But I am getting back on my independent feet again. I fall a lot, but I am remembering how good I use to be on my own and trying to rechannel that person. :)

guess who is coming home tonight????

My hubby!!!! YAY!!! He lands at 8pm tonight! He will most likely leave on a red eye tomorrow night but I don't care because I have him all to myself tonight and tomorrow!!!

Too quiet

E's been gone now for almost two weeks. It's waaay too quiet at the Robbins Nest. Lately all I've been doing is working late, futzing around the house and going to bed way to late. I guess you could say I am bored.

I did a little shopping this past weekend. Finally purchased a shower curtain for our bathroom, curtains for the kitchen and paint for the bedroom. The house is slowly but surely really coming together. I was going to paint the bedroom last weekend but chatted with E on the phone and he wanted to help. So I've postponed it to when we can do it together. This weekend was really nice weather wise, so sunday I started my weeding project again and sat out in the sun with my latest book.

Some "big" things have happened in the last week or so...I mastered the power drill and attempted to grill chicken on E's new gas grill. The grilling went so so, I think partly because I couldn't really see if the chicken was cooked all the way so I ended up cooking the bigger piece the rest of the way in the oven.

Other then that, I am kinda blah. I really need to get back into a excercise routine and my yoga. I believe that my blah mood is because I am not getting out besides going to work every day. Thanks KMT for checking in...his ground school is going well. Now he is learning the systems of the plane. We've talked every night which has been really nice. I just hate crawling into bed alone. I've started sleeping diagonally in the bed, with my head on his pillow. Kind of funny, I think.

I mentioned a couple of posts ago, that we went puppy shopping. We've decided to put that on hold. With our schedules, it just not conducieve for a puppy right now. Jenny, I would love some advice on puppy training. You are totally the expert in this area! Any tips would be so great.